Circling the Drain?

This world HURTS.

How could they? HOW COULD THEY be, how could even there be such slimy monsters? Even more disturbing, how could the other ones make those monsters & their values ACCEPTABLE??! Actually ADAPTING to them??!?

What madness, MAD universe. What's called as common sense has gradually changed, mostly for what I think, strongly feel & intuit, the worse. CURSE this adapting, chameleon-like society! And how DARE you all planting these PARASITES to my psyche??!?!!!

This is not just about individuals. What I sense & deeply detest is the COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. And not just about the country I'm living in, but the whole planet. It's rotting away.

And I don't want to go down the hell with them, NO sir.

I'm gonna stay here, standing alone, trusting my inner compass only. Listening only to everything originated from within: the soul, the instincts, intuition, every emotions and even impulses. Anything except the outer world's hurtful-unspoken-slickly-penetrating doctrines!

**

I guess that's why it's so hard to simply be me. Layers and layers of protection, the ego's work, really, can't be blamed. There's already lots of pollution out there, can't let the innermost of me corrupted.

My cynic/pessimistic side muses, "Is this existence just god's sick joke?" But my Joker Card side, the somewhat more enlightened one, thinks of this from another side of the coin: a 'joke' that's meant to enjoy a.k.a GAME.. which means, those imperfections of this world are challenges.

No, no, NO. Don't interpret this 'challenge' word from the common western perspective which they've used to brainwash the rest of the world (SUCCESS : failure : money : fame : house : car : vacation : perfect family : marketing : selling : promotion : JOB : CAREER : and other dry materialistic toys)!

GAME, as in "Sherlock Holmes: Crimes & Punishments". Challenge, as in "Solving six cases of murders, disappearances and thefts. Depending on how player interprets the clues, they will have different conclusions. Therefore the player can fail or succeed in finding the culprit. He also decides whether he wants to absolve or condemn the criminal. The moral choice the player makes will influence the further gameplay."
Challenges are cool missions, filled with adventures & excitements. With deep sense of FREEDOM as its 'basic operating system'.
Now how about GAME, as in "My Life". Challenge, as in "being me, being true to my values despite the world going loony"?

Hhhh..

Surely I want something with much more sunshine than just this game of "soul survival". Games are always meant to be ENJOYED after all, aren't they?

Back to my inner compass..